Journey Through Darkness

        by Nightcrawler (kmanetta@earthlink.net)

        Fandom: Shanghai Noon/Kung Fu

        Rating:NC17

        Warnings: Slash,adult language and actions

        Disclaimer: No copywrite infringement meant or intended for any for the people connected with either Shanghai Noon or Kung Fu. This for simple reading pleasure only and no money is being made.

        Archive: Shanghai Noon and Beyond the Rim. Elsewhere please ask.



        Roy clung to his saddle with both hands, his blond head sagging, as the throbbing pain in his head grew sharper and sharper. He needed to rest. His head was wet with sweat, a result of the fever. The back of his shirt was wet as well. The fever was getting worse. As he swayed in the saddle, eyes closed, Roy suddenly heard music he thought he would never hear again. It was a flute playing a Chinese melody that Chon had been particularly fond of.

        Roy lifted his head slowly and pulled his horse to a halt. He opened his eyes as the soft breeze carried the haunting melody closer. Looking down into the valley below, Roy saw hundreds of tiny tents indicating a Rail Road workers camp. It wasn't what he had been expecting and combined with the music it immediately brought back memories of Chon.

        He felt the familiar lump in his throat as a wave of regret washed over him. But it was too late now, too late for regrets. He looked down at the camp and saw the people gathered together, obviously celebrating some type of holiday. There was music and lanterns, all kinds of lanterns.

        His thoughts wandered back to Chon, curious if it was a holiday he celebrated as well. Roy glanced around, there were no other settlements nearby. Not that it mattered, he was too weak to go much further. He'd gotten used to the fever, just as he had gotten used to spending his nights alone. Almost. He had become accustomed to spending his days alone too, avoiding people as much as possible as one day blurred into another. Why then did the camp of Chinese workers pull at him so hard?

        The sun was starting to ride low in the sky and the dust covered cowboy felt a deep fatigue he had never known. Maybe this fever would carry him off. Maybe this was where he was meant to die, surrounded by people and sounds that reminded him of the only person he had ever loved, the only person who had ever loved him back.

        He'd given up trying to answer life's questions when he'd left Chon. If he had to stop somewhere, it might as well be here. With a weary sigh, he nudged his horse down the trail towards the camp. The pounding in his head grew steadily as he rode, until he didn't think he could stand it anymore, than everything went black.

        "Chon?" Roy called, afraid there would be no answer. "Chon!" Roy called again anxiously.

        Suddenly, Chon was there, standing in the doorway to their bedroom, a reassuring smile on his face. Roy felt the tension rush out of him at the familiar site of his friend. "Chon, oh Chon, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean what I said, I didn't mean to go. I want to explain..."

        Chon stared at Roy and shook his head slowly from side to side as he slipped his shirt off, the firelight's reflection flickering across his naked chest.

        "But Chon, I need to explain, "

        Chon shook his head no again and grinned wickedly as he stepped out of his pants. As usual, he wore no underwear. As usual, he was hard as a rock. Roy gulped, trying hard to think. He knew there was something important he wanted to say. Something Chon needed to know. His eyes stared at Chon's quivering erection and watched Chon's graceful fingers pull and stroke the engorged member. He felt his own hand slide down to his own organ as his eyes stayed glued to his partner's increasing stiff rod, watching it bounce with a swat of Chon's hand, then throb and tremble as fluid leaked from the cockhead. Then Chon walked over to the bed and stood over Roy, pulling the blanket away.

        Chon knelt beside him and almost reverently took him in his mouth and began to love him. Roy ached with passion as he felt his body burn for Chon. His heart raced, his breathing was ragged but it felt so good, so right. He needed Chon so badly, loved him so much. No one else had ever loved him so unselfishly. No one had ever been able to make his body burn like this. Without a second thought, Roy pulled Chon off him, wanting only to please him more fully with his body. He turned over and offered himself, anxious to feel Chon deep inside him. But nothing happened. "Chon?" he asked uncertainly, suddenly afraid to turn around. "Chon!" he called more desperate this time, turning to see what was wrong.

        But instead of Chon, there stood a stranger, a Chinaman like Chon, but different. He had no cue. His hair was but shoulder length and kind of scraggily, but that wasn't what held Roy's attention, it was the strangers eyes. They were dark and soul searching, they gripped him and he felt helpless under their stare. After a moment he began to speak in soft soothing tones, a voice almost as mesmerizing as his eyes.

        "I am sorry. Your friend is not here. You have been ill with fever. Drink this, you will feel better." and the stranger gently held a cup to Roy's lips.

        Embarrassed, ashamed, Roy drank, just so he wouldn't have to meet the strangers eyes again. Despair tore at him as he realized Chon was not there. It had all been a dream.

        Caine moved a few feet away where he sat silently by an old Joshua tree. He seemed so composed, so at peace, Roy envied him. He sighed wearily and looked around the camp. They were outside, under the stars, a bit away from the tent city. Then he noticed he was naked. Immediately he blushed.

        Caine smiled gently and explained with a careless shrug, "It was necessary to bathe you to bring the fever down. Your clothes are being washed. They will be returned to you in the morning."

        Still, Roy felt uneasy. The dream had seemed so real. What if he said something while he was delirious?

        Caine cocked one eyebrow at him and asked. "While you ill, you spoke of your friend Chon. Is he from China?"

        Roy nodded yes, afraid of Caine and at the same time comforted by his presence. "Who are you?" he finally asked with a sudden burst of courage.

        The stranger smiled again, "I am Kwai Chang Caine. I will help you."

        "Help me? What makes you think you can help me? Roy asked in dismay. Then he turned his head away from the piercing dark almond eyes and in a voice filled with anguish admitted, "You should have let me die. Then you would have helped me."

        Caine raised one eyebrow then asked in soft lilting tones. "What is your name?"

        "Roy."

        "Roy, what brings you here? This camp," the stranger paused and looked around, his hands outstretched, "it is in the middle of nowhere. What takes you so far from Chon?"

        "Leave Chon out of this. I'm here because this is where that stupid horse led me."

        His eyes full of wisdom, the teacher calmly explained, "Wrong. You are here because this is where you are supposed to be. Nothing in this life happens without purpose. I am a teacher and you have been brought to me so that you may learn."

        "Learn? Learn what?"

        "About love, of course." Then with a reassuring grin, Caine rose and silently walked away into the night. Roy fell back asleep, his last waking moments spent wondering what Caine had meant.

        In the morning, Roy felt much better. The fever was broken and for the first time in many days, he felt hungry. Caine offered him tea and a flat bread that Roy wolfed down hungrily. Chon sometimes made a flat bread like that when they were camped out. Chon. At the mere thought of his name, a deep depression settled over Roy. Chon, how he missed him.

        Caine looked over at Roy and said softly, "He misses you, too. Love is like that."

        "Like what?" Roy managed to ask, but really wondering how Caine had known what he had been thinking about.

        His dark eyes filled with compassion, Caine looked at Roy and continued in his soft lyric voice, "What one feels, the other feels, for they are both two sides of the same coin. Love is peace and joy but it is also pain and sorrow. You can not have the one without the other. Someone can not love you unless you love them back, for love is not one sided, that is idolatry.

        Love is the merger of two souls, united in harmony or despair, together always, even when they are apart, especially when they are apart, for it is then that they are tested. Love is two souls that come together and thus create a third entity, stronger and more powerful than either individual. Yet, when they part, each is so desperately alone they are barely able to survive, for now they are diminished, less than they were before. Do you understand? You and Chon are something greater than either you alone or Chon alone.

        "Whoa, whoa whoa, who said anything about me and Chon?" Roy demanded defensively.

        "It is written in your eyes, on your lips and in your dreams. Do you deny your love for Chon? Does it frighten you that he is not a woman?"

        Roy was struggling to get up, groping for his clothes and just stopped dead at the last words. Caine continued. "Love is not interested in whether one's partner is male or female. Love does not care what evil gossipers may say. Love, by and of itself, is pure. It searches to bring two souls together and make them one. Love can make two withered flowers blossom and grow. It can take the old and rejuvenate it, it can take the sick and make them well. You can not choose love, love chooses you. I envy you, my friend. You have been allowed to know love. That is a truly wondrous gift all by itself. Do not turn your back on it. You will never know peace anywhere but by his side and if you think that you are suffering from this separation, know too that he suffers as well, if not more."

        Roy hemmed and hawed but found himself speechless. In a crazy way it all made sense. "I don't understand. What, what if he can't forgive me?"

        "Love is forgiveness. To love is to be forgiven every transgression one has ever made. If he loves you, he will forgive you."

        "And if he doesn't?"

        Caine simply shrugged his shoulders and picked up his satchel, swinging it over one arm. He looked down at Roy and tipped his hat. "I must go now. I hope that your journey home is successful." Then he bowed his head slightly, turned and walked away. Roy watched silently. Finally he called out, "Hey Caine!" The teacher turned. Roy smiled and called "Thanks!" He was rewarded with a broad grin from Caine, who then picked up his flute and began to play. As the teacher walked out of sight, the haunting melody he had been playing lingered in the air long after he had disappeared from sight. Chon's song, Roy thought. Then he closed his eyes and hoped he would hear it again soon.

        The next day, Roy left the Rail Road camp early and rode all day, wanting only to get back to Carson City and Chon. He thought of sending Chon a telegram but didn't want all of Carson City to know his business. The people there knew too much as it was. What they didn't know, they guessed at and their guesses were pretty damn accurate. Roy sighed and wished life wasn't so complicated. That night he barely slept, thinking only of Chon and hoping he could forgive him. Caine had seemed encouraging, but as Roy remembered their last night together, he wondered once again if Chon could forgive him.

        If he had yelled, if he had sworn, if he had hit him, anything would have been better than Chon's dark eyes silently condemning him, condemning the woman in his arms.

        She was a dance hall girl, new to town, named Lil. At least she thought she was a dance hall girl. Seems like she was new to the profession. It had all sounded so simple to her back home in St.Louis. She had been so sure she could do it right up until she came to Carson City and she had taken her first client upstairs. Then, suddenly she knew, this was something she could never do with a stranger, not for any amount of money. He had been kind and understanding. The other girls were sympathetic as well. They were patient with her and she tried again, but she just couldn't do it. The second man was not as understanding as the first. He began beating her. By the time Roy got there and stopped things, she was battered and bruised. She'd been knocked around and terrified in his town while he was sheriff. Roy felt awful. The least he could do was guarantee her one good night's rest free from harm.

        So he had brought her home sure Chon would understand. Chon hadn't, he had assumed the worse and in retaliation, Roy had shot his mouth off, not trying to explain, but trying only to hurt and wound. He had been successful beyond his wildest dreams.

        In the morning, when he left with Lil for the stage, Chon had urged him to keep going and an angry Roy had done just that.

        He rode all day, and through a storm in the afternoon, and then half the night. When he finally stumbled off his horse he was too exhausted to stand or set a fire. He had been barely able to tend to his horse. He woke up with the fever and traveled on that day and the next, until he came to the railroad workers camp.

        Now, in just a short while he would be at the little house, on the edge of town that he and Chon had called home. The closer he got, the slower he traveled. He felt like he was riding to his own execution. Maybe he was, but at least then it would be over. No more questions, no more wondering, no more worrying.

        He looked ahead, and there it was, their house. He swallowed nervously, then nudged his horse forward. He dismounted and tied the horse up to the hitching post, looking around in all directions, but there was no sign of Chon. He entered their house quietly, cautiously, but Chon was not there. The house was empty. Heartbroken, an exhausted Roy fell on their bed, filled with despair. He smelled Chon on the sheets, in the air, everywhere, but Chon was gone and Roy was alone again. Too tired to think, the weary cowboy fell asleep.

        Something woke him, Roy wasn't sure what. "Chon?" Roy called, afraid there would be no answer. "Chon!" Roy called again anxiously.

        Suddenly, Chon was there, standing in the doorway to their bedroom, a reassuring smile on his face. Roy felt the tension rush out of him at the familiar site of his friend. "Chon, oh Chon, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean what I said, I didn't mean to go. I want to explain..."

        Chon stared at Roy and shook his head slowly from side to side as he slipped his shirt off, the firelight's reflection flickering across his naked chest.

        "But Chon, I need to explain, "

        Chon shook his head no again and grinned wickedly as he stepped out of his pants. As usual, he wore no underwear. As usual, he was hard as a rock. Roy gulped, trying hard to think. He knew there was something important he wanted to say. Something Chon needed to know. His eyes stared at Chon's quivering erection and watched Chon's graceful fingers pull and stroke the engorged member. He felt his own hand slide down to his own organ as his eyes stayed glued to his partner's increasing stiff rod, watching it bounce with a swat of Chon's hand, then throb and tremble as fluid leaked from the cockhead. Then Chon walked over to the bed and stood over Roy, pulling the blanket away.

        Roy knew then, he knew it was the same dream. A cry of agony escaped his lips and Chon immediately asked what was wrong.

        Roy looked him strangely, than replied, "What's wrong is you ain't real. You're a dream."

        Chon took Roy's hand and held it to his bulging cock, "This is real," he assured him, "as is this" and this time he placed Roy's hand over his rapidly beating heart. "And this," as he took one of Roy's finger's and dabbed at the tears streaking down Chon's face. "Never leave me again, Roy O'Banyon, for I do not think I could survive it. Without you in my life, there is nothing."

        "I met a man while I was riding. He was a teacher from China. His name was Kwai Chang Caine. He said, that together you and I are much greater than either you or me alone. That our souls blend together and we become someone altogether new. It's true, isn't it Chon?"

        "But of course. Now, may I continue with my apology? I know all about Lil now and what a gallant gentleman you were. I had no right to jump to conclusions. So please, let me continua with my apology. I trust it has been satisfactory so far."

        "Apology?" Roy asked, staring hard at Chon's soaring erection.

        "You have always said actions speak louder than words Roy. I may have to apologize many times."

        Roy grinned wildly, "Not near as many as me. Hell, it will take me a whole lifetime of showing you how sorry I am for what happened."

        Chon grinned, " A whole lifetime? Me too, Roy." Then he wrapped his arms around his partner and held him tight.



        Roy relaxed in Chon's tight embrace and couldn't help remembering Caine's words, "Love is forgiveness." He was right.

        THE END



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