Night Fears
Night Fears
Shanghai Noon/Knights Fandom
Roy/Chon
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When a nightmare from Roy's past comes back to haunt him he needs Chon by his side. Story takes place after Shanghai Knights and picks up with our heroes on their way back to Carson City.
First in a series of two stories dealing with Roy's past...the follow up will be called Daylight Terrors.
Night Fears
The dark shadows assaulted his senses slamming Roy's thoughts into a turbulent mix of fear and whimsy Sweet Jesus it hurt so fucking bad. He gasped hard and sucked a mouthful of stale air into his weak and failing lungs. It was unbearable for him to feel this way again, standing on the precipice between life and death and wondering which path would be better or maybe easier to choose. He was determined not to let the darkness claim him and to fight and survive as he had fought tooth and nail once before, but it was so hard to obliterate the confusion draining the life out of his soul and to ignore the crazy images recurring in his dreams. The damp on his cheeks made him realize he was crying, something he hadn't done in a very long time.
"Please..."
His voice was little more than a whisper carried quickly away by the windy night air. It was no use he didn't have the strength to fight anymore but what he did have was Chon. No! No! No! He could never get his friend involved in this...never. Roy screamed a mental cry into the night and forced his eyes open as the pain of his past returned in a rush...
"Oh god." He whispered softly blinking fully awake from the glow of the slowly ebbing campfire. Roy rubbed his chest absently and forced himself to relax. Across the way Chon slept peacefully, seemingly unaware of the terrifying dreams that spooked Roy awake. He shuddered through a chill and wished silently that his friend would open his eyes. Sometimes he hated being alone, just damn hated it with an incomprehensible passion. It was ridiculous really. Cowboys didn't fear anything.
"Yeah right." Roy murmured and then winced suddenly at a passing thought. Maybe he could wake his buddy up.
"Hey Chon." Roy breathed anxiously. "Did you hear that?" He picked up a stone and tossed it into the grass over Chon's shoulder. "Whoa buddy that might be a bear and we don't want to see one of those." He waited. "Chon?" Roy hated the uncertainty in his voice and hated even more the very real possibility that when Chon woke up everything might not be all right this time. There were some problems that even friendship couldn't fix.
"Roy?"
Roy winced at the sound of Chon's sleepy voice.
"Yeah."
"You are okay?" Chon sat up and observed his friend. The glow of the campfire reflected across Roy's pale features, dancing vibrantly in his open and needy eyes. Roy was beautiful but off limits. Chon didn't dare touch.
"It was a bear Chon. You sleep like the dead you know? And that's not good. He could have snuck up on us and ate us for breakfast. And what would we have done then? Huh?" As usual his friend didn't react. "You don't have any answers." Roy poked at the campfire. "I'm not wide awake enough to fight off a Grizzly."
Chon considered Roy carefully. The blonde man was on a roll this morning or evening maybe it was so dark he couldn't tell. "There are no bears here."
"Sure there are bears." Roy paused. "And lots of other dangerous things Chon. You should be more careful, sleep with one eye open."
Chon nodded silently. He knew Roy well enough to know that something was bothering his friend. The past two evenings he had seemed very restless. "You wake up again? Bad dreams?"
Ah, so Chon had noticed. Roy forced himself not to react. It wouldn't do any good to drag his only friend into his personal terror. "You're kidding right? No? Okay now you're embarrassing me."
"Few days ago we run into that gang and now you can't sleep." Chon stood up and moved to sit by Roy. He felt uncertain and awkward being so close to this younger man he couldn't stop himself from wanting. This "thing" between them, whatever it was, there was no way it would go any further. The West didn't have room for Chon's choice of romance. He sat back and watched Roy's soft hair shine in the firelight. "Who are they Roy?"
Roy closed his eyes. Chon was so close to him it hurt. "Just some bad men, really bad men Chon. You don't want to mess with them."
"Did you mess with them?"
He turned around sharply and bit his lip. Damn but Chon could be perceptive at times. "You're not going to let me go back to sleep until I tell you right."
"Yes."
"You're a man of few words Chon but you get straight to the point." Roy poked at the fire and collected his thoughts. He would have to do some fancy talking to get out of this one. But it really didn't matter. He had absolutely no plans to tell Chon the truth this time. Some things were better left unsaid. "I knew the leader of the gang way back in my outlaw days Chon a long time ago. I'm not sure whom he's riding with now." Chon didn't look convinced. "We don't exchange correspondence, we're not friends."
"How you know him?"
"Well, I wasn't one of the good guys then. We robbed a few trains together, played some poker. Cowboy things, but I outgrew him and our paths diverged. It happens."
"You did not want to talk to him. We hid in the mountains."
"I didn't want him to ask me to join his gang again. We're old friends. It would be hard to turn him down and let you arrest him." Roy held his breath and watched Chon's face carefully. Not completely convinced but it'll do. "Okay?"
Chon nodded and placed his hand on Roy's knee. To his amazement his partner didn't flinch. "You would tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn't you?
"Of course."
"Friends don't keep secrets." Chon watched as a myriad of emotions highlighted Roy's anxious features.
Sometimes they do buddy Roy thought absently, sometimes they do. He watched Chon start back over to his bedroll with a touch of remorse. He'd felt safe with Chon by his side.
"Goodnight Roy."
"Goodnight." Roy flopped on the blanket and tossed his covers over his head. There was no way in hell he was going to get anymore sleep tonight...
Morning came too slowly for Roy's liking. He tossed and turned for most of the night and was up at the crack of dawn boiling water for a fresh pot of coffee. There was nothing quite as amazing as the fiery brilliance of a Nevada sunrise. Roy yawned, stretched and shook the sleep out of his eyes. It was gonna be one hell of a day. He smiled to himself. Any day was great when he was with Chon but Roy knew that lately he'd been acting like a louse, secretive and moody. Chon deserves much better than that Roy thought, he deserved much better than...me he realized with a jolt.
Whoa.
He needed to take a breather. Since when was the relationship he shared with Chon anything more than two good buddies keeping the peace in the great outdoors? With a sinking heart Roy realized that the answer to that question might very well put him in therapy. He had deep feelings for Chon that he couldn't explain feelings surely frowned upon on the plains of the West. Sometimes he found himself wondering about his friend and the princess...did they screw around or not? With that tight muscled body and quick reflexes Chon was sure to be hell in the sack. It would probably be wonderful to have him and touch him and ...shit. Just like that Roy's face was burning. Chon was still very much an enigma to him and the slim chance that he returned Roy's feelings were a long shot at best. The Asian man was the best friend he'd ever had and it would be just plain stupid for him to fuck things up now.
Whoosh...whoosh...
The rustling noise in the distance interrupted Roy's daydreams. His heart started pounding in a harsh staccato rhythm and his hands shook so bad he burnt his fingers on hot water spilling over the top of the coffeepot.
"Damn." He swore under his breath, dropped the pot and reached for his gun. There was no one here but he and Chon. No one could have snuck up on them in the darkness. It was impossible. Especially when Roy barely dozed for more than a few minutes. He had a good ear for the night. He knew when something was out there. Roy cursed silently and searched the slowly brightening horizon. It couldn't be Harmon, it just couldn't be. He stood silent listening intently for every sound, every breath and every whisper. If by some small chance it was his old friend Roy would kill him again and this time make sure he stayed dead. Harmon was a monster a murderous hateful monster. The sight of him earlier in the week riding with a new band of outlaws made Roy shake like an earthquake and vomit up all of his dinner. Chon looked at him with concern, patted his back and made soothing noises and Roy just blamed his queasy stomach on a bad piece of jerky. He didn't think Chon believed him but telling the truth would have really sucked. Chon didn't need to know that Roy would rather die then let Harmon touch him again.
"Roy?"
Roy spun around and pointed the gun at Chon. He stared through his friend unseeing, his mind whirling with fear and doubt, the image of a dead man imprinted on his brain.
The China man's dark eyes narrowed in surprise. It was very unlike his friend to be so jumpy. Chon revised his thoughts. So jumpy that is when they weren't in danger. Roy was sweating despite the cold and his hands were shaking. For a moment Chon felt frightened.
"It's me Roy, it's Chon." Chon moved towards Roy slowly, careful not to rattle his fragile state of mind. He knew Roy hadn't been sleeping well lately, had heard him mumble in his sleep words of fear and agony. Chon's name sometimes and another, Hartman or Harmon he couldn't be sure and weary words like "please" and "no" uttered helplessly and unashamed. He had tried on more than one occasion to get Roy to open up to him but it was no use. His friend was far too proud for that.
"Chon?" Roy's voice was weaker than he'd ever heard it before. He sounded frightened and lost, like a very small boy, and when Chon finally grabbed the gun out of his hand Roy collapsed against him trembling wildly.
"Shhh...it is all right. No one is going to hurt you." Chon cuddled him gently. Roy looked so vulnerable and trusting his lips parted invitingly, his expression confused yet wanting, that Chon had to fight against all instincts to kiss him senseless. "There is no one else here."
Roy shook his head and buried his face against Chon's strong chest. His friend's heartbeat was a comfort, the warmth of his body a soothing balm to Roy's frazzled nerves. "Jesus Chon I could have shot you."
"You would not have shot me." Chon stroked his back gently, running his strong fingers through Roy's silky gold hair. He wished the situation was different and he could speak his feelings for his friend without the pain of retribution. In this new country it seemed men just didn't make love with each other. Chon felt himself drowning in Roy's velvet blue eyes and forced a comforting smile.
"You don't know that. You don't know what I'm capable of doing. You don't know me as well as you think."
"I do know you Roy." Chon's expression darkened. "Something is wrong with you but you won't tell me." He considered. "Something with those men."
"No, you've got it all wrong. I'm just tired."
"Is one of those men Hartman?"
Roy cringed at the casual mention of his nightmare's name, or almost his name anyway. "Harmon." He pushed away from Chon with all the strength he possessed. "How do you...? Listen, you don't want to know about it." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "And I don't have the heart to tell you."
"Why not?" Chon's voice sounded surprised.
"Why not? Because sometimes the past isn't an easy thing to remember."
"Let me help you Roy."
Chon's offer was so earnest, his voice so endearing and kind that Roy nearly gave in to his wishes. He wanted to, god he needed to talk to someone he could trust, but not Chon. Even if he was the only person Roy trusted in the whole entire wide world.
"I'm sorry, I can't." The disappointment in Chon's eyes was unnerving. Roy wished Chon were still holding him.
"Is it that bad Roy?"
Oh if you only knew. Roy shook his head and moved back toward the coffeepot. "It's nothing."
Chon watched Roy pick up the coffeepot and frowned. Something definitely wasn't right.
They ate breakfast in silence and saddled their horses for the long ride back to Carson City. A few hours into the ride Roy pulled his horse to a stop. "So, what? You're not talking to me?"
"You did not say anything."
" I didn't do anything and it's not like you to hold a grudge."
"I hold nothing."
Roy sighed. "Of course you're holding a grudge Chon. "
"No Roy. I am not." Chon considered. "You don't trust me."
"What? Of course I trust you." Roy's voice held surprise.
"No you don't."
"Fine. " Roy's head spun. "Even though I don't want to, I'll tell you about Harmon if it makes you feel better."
"You do not have to tell me Roy." Chon stared hard at his friend. "But it may help you feel better.
Roy swallowed hard and turned his face into the wind gazing longingly at the majestic snow capped mountains mirrored across the river. It really was a beautiful country. "It's hard Chon. I'm not used to being so open and truthful with anybody but you make me want to be a better person...you make me sorry I ever was an outlaw."
Chon nodded and continued to watch Roy, pleased by his words. He wasn't sure what his friend was going to tell him but Chon knew it would take a lot out of him to say it. When Roy turned back to look at him and bit down softly on his sensual bottom lip Chon felt a stirring deep inside. The power Roy held over him was amazing. He wanted nothing more from this moment than to comfort his partner, to hold him close and cherish him forever.
"I met up with Harmon four years ago. You know me Chon...I had no direction in life and he seemed to take a liking to me. He offered me a chance to get rich very quickly and I took it." He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes.
"We all make mistakes Roy."
"Yeah...me more than anybody." Roy jumped off his horse and flopped on the grass. "He was a monster Chon...he killed people for the hell of it...and by the time I found out he nearly killed me too. I only knew him for three months..." His voice drifted away softly.
Chon felt a surge of anger rip through him at the thought of anyone hurting Roy. "What did he do?"
He beat me and fucked me and stabbed me... Roy's head ached from the memories he fought against telling Chon. He once swore he'd never again let Harmon have any power over him again and yet here he was sitting on a riverbank in the middle of Nevada trembling in the early morning sun. "When I tried to leave him he got crazy. He used me Chon. He made me wish I never met him."
Chon moved to sit beside his friend and squeezed his knee gently. "But you got away."
"I didn't. Not really." It was so damn hard to do this and so damn easy to let the past overwhelm him. Roy shuddered hard and wrapped his arms across his chest. Right now that would be a big mistake. "In the end he tried to get rid of me. He didn't want me anymore."
Chon was confused but Roy looked so exhausted sitting on the grass next to him that he decided to wait it out before he asked for any explanations.
"He stabbed me in the gut and left me for dead out in a blizzard." Roy paled considerably. "When he came back the next day I was still alive...and then...fuck Chon. Then I killed him."
"Killed him?"
"Yes dammit. I killed him or at least I thought so. I hit him and he fell on the off the side of a cliff and I stole his horse and got the hell out of there. I was so fucking cold...I was bleeding...it was so bad Chon."
Chon reached for Roy and held him. "It's okay...no one will hurt you now." He held on to Roy tightly keeping him safe in the warmth of his arms. "If Harmon is out there we will find him."
Roy pulled back as if on fire. "No Chon. We will not find him. We will not look for him. We will not go anywhere near that bastard do you hear me?" Roy knew he sounded hysterical but he had his fucking reasons. "He toyed with me for nearly a month. Keeping me with him, making me play his sordid games. I didn't like it Chon. I wanted to die."
"Oh Roy." Chon reached out and ran his hands through Roy's hair, rubbing his forehead and temples in a soft gliding motion. "I am so sorry."
Roy relaxed into Chon's caress. "Not your problem Chon..."
Chon patted Roy's shoulder. "Yes it is my problem...you are my friend." He searched the blonde man's eyes for any sign that maybe there was a chance between them for something more than friendship, something more intimate. He stroked Roy's chin and slowly brought their faces closer together. The kiss, when it came, was soft and gentle, a wispy brush of contact fleeting but intense. He delighted in the warm feel of Roy's lips soft and full against his, the intoxicating taste of his friend clouding Chon's senses.
Roy's body sizzled from the surprising turn of events. It was everything he'd hoped for and more but despite his desires he pushed his weary body away from the strong embrace. "Whoa."
"Yes...whoa."
Roy paused and took a deep breath and Chon swallowed hard before they kissed again in earnest. Mouth on mouth, lips taking, branding and burning. They held tight to each other, bodies eager and hard, neither willing to break the amazing and unexpected contact.
"Chon...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have..."
"You should not be sorry." The feel of Roy in his arms was incredible. Chon pressed his body closer to his friend, wrapped his arms around his hips and lowered him gently to the ground. "You are amazing."
Roy blinked. "No I'm not..." Chon kissed him again, slowly this time, his tongue licking across Roy's teeth. Chon's hands curved under the small of his back tugging Roy tightly against him. When the Chinese man suckled and bit his bottom lip he moaned...it was nearly too much...it was downright unbelievable. Roy wanted to stay here forever locked in Chon's strong arms. He felt safe here...and protected. He nearly laughed out loud at the sentiment. Roy O'Bannon, lawman cowboy extraordinaire, secure and comfortable in the arms of his male partner. Why did these things always happen to him? "Really Chon...I'm not that...amazing." The Asian man kissed him in response and all further complaints vanished.
Chon made quick use of his tongue, dipping and opening Roy's mouth to kiss him fully. Roy tasted like coffee and honey, bitter and sweet, a delightful combination that drove Chon wild. He had long dreamed of holding his partner in his arms and taking liberties one would only take with a lover. Roy's body was long and slender, his blonde hair a glorious halo around his face. Chon had never wanted anybody more. He wondered if his friend had any experience with men. He thought of Harmon and frowned. It was possible that Roy's experiences were not of the pleasant variety. No matter, Chon would show him the depth and strength of his love...both physical and mental.
"You are beautiful."
Roy winced. He'd certainly heard that before. Harmon himself had gushed about his appearance on more than one occasion. And then fucked him senseless. The memories came back in a rush, pain, shame, doubt and agony. "Chon...don't, okay?" He sat up and ran his hand through his hair. Damn...just when it was going so well.
"I don't understand." Chon was staring at him with a confused expression on his face and Roy swallowed away his hurt.
"We shouldn't be doing this Chon...I can't."
"You did not like it?" The hurt in his voice was plain.
"Yes...no...oh dammit Chon. I did like it." Roy wasn't lying. Kissing Chon was wonderful...at first...until Roy's mind wandered away to another place and time, to the cruel fucking bastard who nearly killed him. His hands twisted into fists and he took a deep breath before he faced his friend. "I am sorry."
"Again you are sorry." Chon stood up and brushed off his pants.
"You don't understand." Roy stared at him imploringly. He promised himself that he'd never discuss this part of his life with anybody and yet he had already told Chon much more than he usually cared to remember. "I'm not..." Worth it his mind screamed and Roy gasped as his thoughts darkened and he remembered exactly why...
...Harmon slaps him hard and tosses his already bloodied body to the floor of the barn. "I'm gonna have your ass." Roy squirms away trying to escape, weak and nauseous, his bones rattling and broken, but it's impossible...he's not nearly strong enough to fight off what's about to happen. His body aches beyond belief. Roy shudders hard and turns to face his attacker. If he closes his eyes it will be over quicker...
"Roy!"
"What?" Roy opened his eyes and started to tremble. Chon was on the grass sitting next to him again...when did that happen? "What happened?"
"I'm not sure but..." Chon paused. "You were frightened."
"Really? I don't remember." Roy grabbed Chon's shoulder for support and stood up. "I think we should get going. Take advantage of the sunlight while we have it. The Indians in these parts aren't relatives of yours Chon...they might not be friendly."
Chon watched Roy mount his horse with a frown. He approached his friend carefully. "Roy."
"Yeah Chon?" Roy couldn't bring himself to meet Chon's eyes.
"You always tell me we should travel light."
Roy's eyes narrowed. He wished he knew where the hell Chon was going with this. "That's right. You don't want to weigh the horse down."
Chon considered his answer. "What about the rider?"
"Damn..." Roy whistled under his breath. I didn't see that one coming. He closed his eyes and tried to stop his hands from shaking. As usual Chon could see right through him.
"We must get this man Roy. We must stop him from hurting someone else like he hurt you."
Roy whipped his head around in a flash. "No. If you go after him you go alone Chon."
"I will if I have to."
"You would?" Roy's surprised expression nearly broke Chon's heart.
"It is my job as a lawman."
"I can't do it Chon. Believe me. I want to see the bastard pay for what he did to me but I just can't."
"You are afraid of him?"
The answer wasn't as hard as Roy figured it would be. "Yes...I am afraid of him. I'm afraid of what he'll do to me." And to you too the voice in his head shouted causing Roy to wince. "He's crazy and then there's that little thing about me killing him." He considered with a frown. "Or almost killing him, obviously. He hates me Chon."
"We only see him from a distance...maybe it's not even him."
Roy swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. He would never forget the cruelty of Harmon's face. The small dark eyes and thin lips gave him a shifty, worn expression, a look of anger that enveloped his every movement. Roy hated him with every breath in his body. Hated the sight of him. The jagged scar running vertically down his neck was proof positive that the fucker should have met his end many years ago. But no, somehow he survived that attack just as easily as he survived falling over a cliff in a blizzard with a lucky punch many years later.
"It's only been a few years Chon...I recognize him."
"Then we must get him Roy." Chon watched his partner carefully. Roy looked tired, exhausted even, and jumpy enough to bolt at the slightest threat of danger. He'd never seen Roy so upset before. His blue eyes, usually so sparkly and fresh were jaded and wary, his voice soft and quiet and the spring was missing from his step. It was still the Roy he knew and loved but he was wounded, his zest for life missing. Whatever Harmon had done to him in the past had damaged Roy badly and Chon wouldn't rest until he was destroyed.
"Chon you don't understand." Roy closed his eyes and swayed slightly. This no sleep thing was starting to catch up with him. "If I don't intend to get anywhere the fuck near him, then how am I going to catch him? Cause that's the thing buddy, he's going in one direction and I'm going in the other."
"Even if the other direction leads away from Carson City?" Chon watched Roy tremble with a measure of remorse. He knew Roy was iffy about the choices he'd made. Even if Chon thought being a lawman was a better fit for his friend than being an outlaw, Roy wasn't completely sure he made the right decision.
"That's my home...our home. I'm just coming back...I don't want to leave." Roy's voice was quiet, almost a whisper and Chon knew he'd said the right thing.
"At one time Roy he controlled you...kept you captive."
"That's the least of it...yeah...but I got away."
"No, you didn't."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I survived him Chon. I survived everything that bastard threw at me.
"Did you Roy? I don't think so." Chon walked carefully towards his friend. "You are alive...but the things you remember make you different."
"That's silly Chon. I'm the same Roy you always knew."
"Why did you not mention him until now?"
"I didn't mention him buddy." Roy dismounted gracefully. "I dreamed about him...you brought him up. You did Chon, not me. So if I'm different because of him it's..." Chon's determined face was hard to refute. "...It's not your fault." Roy finished lamely. For the first time in a while he was unsure of himself. He hated the power Harmon held over him. His continued ability to control Roy's actions, his words, and thoughts disgusted the cowboy. It hurt to remember the way Harmon used him and Roy was unable to ever forget it.
'Nor is what he did your fault." Chon reached for Roy and squeezed his arm. The younger man shuddered hard and looked away. When his gaze returned to Chon there was anger there and something he couldn't define.
"I know it wasn't my fault but that doesn't make it any easier." Roy grabbed Chon by the shoulders and held tight. "You ever been raped Chon?" Chon shook his head. Roy hated the way his voice shook. He wished he could just shut the hell up but he was on a roll now and if he didn't spit the words out, Roy knew he'd never be able to do so. "You ever been beaten so bad and hurt so much that you'd rather die than wake up the next day and take the same shit all over again?"
"Roy..." Chon's voice trailed off nervously. Roy's reaction was a bit unexpected.
"That's what Harmon did to me. We were never partners...not after I realized what kind of a monster he was but he wouldn't let me leave...he wanted me." Roy couldn't stop the rush of anger and shame running hot in his lungs. He shuddered. The shock in Chon's eyes was wonderful and well deserved. Roy's early life was just a bit different than growing up in Imperial China and it was high time his friend found out the truth. "And he had me Chon... boy did he have me."
Chon moved closer to his friend and held Roy's shaking hands. He wished he could take Roy's pain away and make everything all right. He tugged his friend into a strong embrace and felt Roy's body relax first then stiffen. "Roy..."
"No Chon...I can't." Roy pulled away and wrapped his arms across his chest. He hadn't felt this miserable in a very long time but the last thing he deserved was Chon's gentleness. "Let's just get going, okay?"
"No Roy. We are not going anywhere." Chon moved to the grass and sat down.
"What are you doing?" Roy watched the China man nervously. "We have to move Chon. I don't want to stay here."
"Because Harmon may show up?"
"You got it buddy." Roy felt the anger build. "We're leaving." He started to walk towards his horse and quickly looked back for Chon. "Oh come on. Please." Roy hated begging...hated it more than a lot of things actually, but he'd use any means necessary to get Chon back on his horse.
"You need to talk to me. We are friends." Chon watched Roy squirm. His blue eyes darkened and he looked more distressed than Chon had ever seen him.
"If I talk to you can we go?"
"Yes." Chon patted the ground next to him and after a bit of hesitation Roy joined him.
"Why do we always have to talk? It's ridiculous. Can't we just ride in silence? A lot of cowboys do that...a lot of lawmen too."
"It is better to talk."
"It's better when you're the one doing the listening Chon." Roy rubbed his eyes wearily. What he wouldn't give for a peaceful night's sleep.
"You are good at talking Pawdner. You say so yourself."
Roy frowned. "I guess so...it's just...damn it Chon. It's hard." He stared hard at his friend. "It was a bad part of my life. I mean, it didn't last very long but it's still with me." He sighed dramatically. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"
"I am sure Roy."
"Of course you are..." Roy moved forward slightly to face Chon. "The stuff I said to you before is true. I met him. He invited me to join his gang. I was a bit down on my luck and what the hell...I said yes." He bit his lip and wondered just how much information was enough. Chon certainly didn't want to hear all the bad parts anymore than Roy wanted to tell them. "It was the worst mistake I ever made. He didn't respect my skills as an outlaw. He just..." His voice trailed off and he turned away with a sigh. "He liked the way I looked Chon. I guess I did it for him or something." Roy blinked. "God, this is so embarrassing."
"It should not be." Chon touched his friend's chin gently. "You do it for me too."
"I do?" Roy asked incredulously.
"Yes...you do." Chon leaned forward and softly brushed his mouth over Roy's lips delighting in the soft gasp of surrender breezing from the blonde man's hot needy mouth. He wrapped his arms around Roy and pulled him close against his chest. Shudders wracked the slender body and Chon rubbed his back gently until Roy relaxed.
They sat still for a while neither man wishing to break the tender embrace until Roy finally took a deep breath and sat back to regroup. He stared at Chon hungrily, wishing the world were different, wishing he could fall forward into the other man's arms and make love all night long on the soft green grass. As he noted the way Chon's arms moved the way the tight muscles flexing majestically through the thin material of his cotton shirt, a vibrant thrill assaulted his body and he trembled so violently in the hot midday sun he nearly passed out. It had been a long time since he'd felt the power of another man holding him and Chon was certainly the strongest person he had ever met. Roy reached out tentatively and touched Chon's arm and was momentarily shocked by the intensity of the China man's reaction.
Chon breathed deeply, grasped the younger man's hand in his own and slowly raised it to his mouth for a solemn wet kiss. He kept his eyes glued to Roy's hoping his expression was enough to communicate his desire, to let the other man know how very deeply he cherished him and how very desperately he wanted him. If Harmon was any indication Roy didn't have a good history. Chon grit his teeth. Malice at the evil man who hurt his friend welled up inside his soul but he pushed it aside patiently, transcribing the rush to a later time when his anger would serve him well in destroying the viper. Roy was all that mattered to him now...Roy with his deep blue eyes and golden hair the color of sunshine. Chon swallowed hard when his friend's hand caressed his face, cupping his chin into one slender palm.
"Do you want me Chon?" Roy's voice held a measure of doubt.
"Yes...more than you can ever know. You are everything to me." Chon relaxed when Roy accepted his words with a barely noticed nod.
"You deserve better."
"I want no one else..." Chon reached for Roy and kissed him hard. The smaller man responded at once opening his lips to the kiss and exploring Chon's mouth with his tongue. It felt amazing. The taste of Roy invaded his senses owning him instantly. He lowered the trembling body to the grass without breaking oral contact and unbuttoned Roy's shirt reverently, revealing small hard nipples and a firm pale chest.
Roy closed his eyes when Chon touched him. He was being swept away in the moment, without regard or regret, but somehow it felt right that he should lay with Chon. He felt the top button of his jeans pop open, felt Chon pull them gently over his hips, and opened his eyes wide to the sight of his soon to be lover watching him carefully. "Chon?"
"You are so beautiful."
Roy blushed. "No I'm not."
"You are." Chon insisted fighting the urge to claim the man who belonged to him. He forced himself to wait, the thrill of revealing Roy clouding his vision. "Very, very beautiful." His eyes traveled up Roy's lean frame lingering on the cowboy boots.
Roy followed his gaze. "Yeah...right." He sat up and slowly removed his boots knowing Chon's eyes were on his every action. It was weird to be on display but somehow it didn't feel wrong like it did with Harmon. Chon was his friend...he trusted him without measure...and if by some miracle he wanted Roy, well then who was he to argue? He turned his face into the sun and said a silent prayer for forgiveness. Last time, with Harmon wasn't his fault. This time would be different. He looked back at Chon and gaped at his near nakedness. When the hell had that happened?
Chon smiled sensually as he removed the last of his clothes. The image of Roy bathed in sunlight was staggering but he refused to be swayed by the buildup of passion gathering in his loins. He wanted to make this good for Roy...to show him that his desire was tempered by love, his thirst for Roy's touch bordering on madness. He lay back on the earth and took his love with him.
They kissed slowly at first, quickening as the passion grew. Chon nibbled at Roy's neck, aroused by his fervent groan, and moved lower to lap at his belly button. He drew his tongue inside with a soft and eager penetration. Roy's hands grabbed his hair for support and he thrust his stomach upwards in Chon's direction. Chon smiled against the soft skin and kissed his belly tenderly.
Roy struggled helplessly under Chon's ministrations. It felt totally freaking mind-blowing. Never in his life had he responded so recklessly, so completely determined yet out of control. And what was up with his stomach? It seemed every spot Chon touched was a hot spot. He gasped as his lover's attentions moved lower.
"Chon you don't have to...God!" Roy's shuddered when Chon's warm lips engulfed his member. "Oh fuck...god...fuck."
Chon's mouth was full of Roy's cock and it was simply amazing. The blonde curls at the base tickled his nose pleasantly. Roy's vibrating body coursed wildly through him but Chon didn't let up for a second. He'd dreamed of this intimacy for so long and now it was real. Roy was under him, groping and moaning, with a dazed but wanting expression on his face. Looks like I wasn't the only one thinking about this for over a year he thought and continued to pleasure his partner. Roy's cock was long and pink, like his lips, and Chon greedily slurped along the length as Roy trembled pleasingly.
"Yes...ahh..."
Roy could barely breath...his body was running on overdrive. Two hours ago he'd been so damn tired, ready to sleep for a year and now like magic he was alive and awake and enjoying the best damn blow-job of his life. Chon's mouth was on fire, taking Roy deep and sucking him hard. He held tight to the dark velvet hair and tugged his lover towards him, forcing Chon to adjust his position and angle his jaw to accommodate Roy's throbbing heat. He gasped and shook and tried to hold back the coming explosion. Roy watched Chon swallow him and squirmed in anticipation. He wondered what his friend expected from him, would Chon want to be inside Roy's body? The thought filled him with an arousal bordering on terror. He wanted to be with his partner on so many levels but there was a part of Roy that was afraid of sexual intimacy. He'd been one hell of a wild man with the ladies but that was lust not love. With Chon it was different and he didn't want to fuck it up.
"God..."
Roy's taste was on his tongue, in every part of his mouth, it was delightful and exhilarating. Chon squeezed Roy's balls and sucked him firmly. He watched carefully for a sign that Roy's climax was near...more than anything he wanted their lovemaking to be special and memorable. Roy slammed up hard into his mouth and Chon gagged slightly sucking the head of Roy's cock and digging the tip of his tongue into the tiny sensitive slit at the tip. Roy's eyes darted open. Chon removed his mouth and tempered Roy's passion with a wet slurping lick along the underside of his member. Roy moaned weakly, his fingers digging to the roots on Chon's scalp, and whimpered Chon's name like a mantra. Chon smiled warmly at his lover and enveloped his cock once again.
Roy's vision darkened and his heart beat rapidly. His reflexes demanded he push again and again, shoving his cock between Chon's lips, taking his mouth using his heat. Roy trembled and gasped and pulled Chon closer. The firm lips controlled him demanding his release and he climaxed in a shuddering damp heap on the grass, sweaty and satisfied and exhausted beyond belief. Chon's mouth moved upon him, sucking him dry, swallowing each drop of moisture hard won from Roy's cock. He reached for his lover and Chon held him close kissing Roy's mouth, allowing Roy to taste himself inside. Three soft kisses later he snuggled close under Chon's neck and started to drift as gentle words spoken softly in Chinese sang him a lullaby...
Roy yawned and stretched himself awake. The sun was lowering into a fiery blast over the mountains, a brilliant spectacle in deep red hues. He looked around for Chon and reached for his clothes. His hand brushed across his member but Little Roy didn't stir a hoot. Roy felt himself start to blush at the memory of exactly why his cock was so tired and he shook his head to get his thoughts in order. He pulled up his pants and walked over to a small pit that Chon had designated as a fire. Even though daytime in the desert was hot and humid, it was actually quite chilly in the evening, and getting a fire started was a standard cowboy precaution. Plus you couldn't drink coffee if you couldn't heat up the water.
"Well, better get a move on." Roy chided himself. It was all he could do to get his protesting body up and moving around. He reached for the coffeepot and smiled when he realized that Chon had already filled it with water. He thought of his friend, now his lover, and felt a hot rush of flame spire through his nerve endings. "Whoa." He stood still for a moment not moving. God, the things Chon did to him.
He turned his head from side to side and scanned the distance carefully. If Harmon were looking for him, Roy decided he would face his past with Chon at his side. He'd defeat the bastard, kill him for sure this time, and then Roy could relax into more passionate evenings with his lover without a care in the world. Yeah right. He shuddered through a chill and wrapped his arms across his chest. Not even sundown and it was getting cold all ready. Where the hell had he flung his coat? Despite all his hopes Roy couldn't imagine a world without Harmon haunting his dreams, caressing his actions and desires with a shadow of doubt so nasty and real that some days Roy wasn't sure he was good enough to love anyone at all. And then Chon came along and he dared to hope that maybe this time things would work out positively.
Roy had never found it difficult to be content...but he was seriously fucked up when it came to being happy. The past years with Chon had been the best of his life. He was starting to fit in as a lawman and the townspeople of Carson City held him in the highest regard. But he'd wavered and floundered and made a big leap of faith moving to New York and nearly loosing Chon in the process. His career as a writer didn't last long and then it was off to London to find Chon's sister. Roy smiled...Chon Lin sure was a beauty...but in the end it was Chon Roy wanted...it was Chon Roy loved...and it was Chon Roy followed back to Carson City.
"Roy?"
Roy spun around in an instant reaching for a gun that wasn't there. He gaped at Chon in surprise.
Chon dropped a small pile of wood on the fire. "Just me Pawdner."
"Yeah," Roy drawled taking a step towards the other man. "I can see that." He leaned in slowly and closed his eyes as Chon kissed him. When the kiss finished Roy lay his head on Chon's shoulder and sighed.
"Are you okay?" Chon kept his voice level refusing to voice his concern that maybe everything wasn't all right. Maybe Roy thought having sex had been a big mistake. But then hadn't they just kissed?
"I am." Roy stammered. Now was as good a time as any. "Chon, we have to talk."
"Now you want to talk?" Chon kept his voice teasing and light. He didn't want to frighten Roy or make him bolt like the stallions he was so fond of riding.
"What happened between us..." Roy's voice nearly broke. "What happened was wonderful and I don't want you to ever doubt that I care for you."
"You do?"
"Yes of course I do Chon. I wouldn't have done what I did with you if I didn't have feelings for you."
Chon winced at the exasperation in Roy's voice. Something wasn't right. "And this is a problem?"
God but Chon could be so innocent sometimes. "Well, yes and no." Roy grabbed Chon's hand and squeezed. "I want to be with you and I like you a lot and want you and stuff Chon."
Roy's blush was the most beautiful site he'd ever seen. "I love you too Roy."
Damn, Roy quaked. "You love me?" For a moment he was dumbfounded. Why the hell did Chon have to go and say that? "You can't love me Chon." He swallowed hard past the lump in his throat and flopped back on the ground in a clumsy heap.
"Why not?" Chon moved next to his lover. Roy sat immobile and quiet, his eyes trained on the distance, searching his memories, his past, his future. There was nothing in the world that would keep him apart from Roy...nothing that would ever destroy his feelings for the man who was suddenly his lover...but it was obvious to him that Roy had his doubts. "There is nothing you have done that would change how I feel."
"Really?" Roy looked dubious.
"Yes Roy."
Roy winced. He'd done some pretty bad things in his day. Chon was a good guy, a forgiving guy, not the type to screw around and leave, but what if he was mistaken? Oh fuck, you're not wrong and you know it, he raged. He loved Chon too but he was not about to admit it. Things were so difficult now. If Chon knew how he felt he would be unable to hide it. And if Harmon found out about them he'd kill Chon in a heartbeat and then what would Roy do? Harmon again...what the hell was his problem?
Chon watched his lover carefully. "What is wrong?"
"Nothing." Roy lied easily. "Nothing at all...it's just...maybe we're rushing things a bit." Roy watched Chon's heart break. God dammit he could be a bastard when he tried hard enough.
"I do not think so." Chon lay his hand on Roy's knee. "We are good together."
"Yes we are." Roy agreed. It was impossible to fight his attraction to this man.
"I do not understand." Chon sat forward slightly and waited. Something wasn't right with Roy...something that didn't exist an hour ago. "You are still afraid."
He couldn't very well deny it. "Fuck yes Chon I'm afraid. Men just don't go around saying they love each other in the West even if it is true." Roy rubbed his tired eyes. "And I can't forget about Harmon."
"He will not harm us."
"He'll kill you Chon...if he finds out about us he'll kill you and it will be my fault..." Roy gaped in horror. He'd never meant to let Chon in on those particular fears.
"Is this what is bothering you? That man?" Chon grabbed Roy by the shoulders and shook him roughly. "I will not let him hurt you. I will not let him hurt me." He was angry with himself for being so stupid. Roy would continue to punish himself until Harmon was dead...the man had too much of a hold on him. He watched Roy's worried blue eyes turn fearful but he did not let up. "You belong to me Roy." He would never let Harmon hurt Roy again. I will keep you safe Chon thought with an air of pride.
"No." Roy's breathing was ragged. "No." He pulled away from Chon's grip and pushed him vehemently. He had belonged to Harmon once too and that hadn't exactly been a picnic. Roy wasn't about to be owned by anyone else again. He shuddered through a devastating chill and searched once again for his jacket. When his eyes returned to Chon he bristled, "Cut the macho shit Chon."
"What is macho shit?" Leave it to the West to through one disastrous idiom after another at him. He'd never figure this country out. Roy stood silently as the wind caressed his hair. Chon had never seen him look more lovely and inviting. He would have to get through to his lover somehow.
"Macho shit is saying stuff like you own me Chon." Roy rallied his emotions and ground his teeth. "You are not my savior."
"I did not claim that Roy."
"Yeah, well, you sure act like it sometimes. You forget I got along fine before you came into my life."
Chon nodded resignedly. "Do you want me to go?"
"What? No of course not." The thought of Chon leaving him alone in the desert was more terrifying than death. "I didn't say that."
"Then I will stay." Chon sat down to start the fire and cook the evening meal. "We do not have much for dinner tonight."
"That's okay. We should be getting to Red Gulch tomorrow and we can pick up supplies there." Roy hated the easy cadence of pleasantries between them. He might as well start talking about the weather. "Chon this is silly."
"What is silly?"
"You and me and this game we're playing."
"I am playing no game Roy." Chon advanced toward him with the gait of a wild cat. "You have let me know where your feelings lie."
"I have?"
"You do not feel as I do." Chon opened his pack and took out a can of beans and a few pieces of bread. He would not allow Roy to see his pain.
"You're wrong." Roy's voice was quiet, the nasal syllables twanging weakly into the slowly darkening night.
Chon spun around in a circle. "Why you not say so earlier?"
"It's hard for me...you know that. I was raised here in the West where men love women. Not in the East where men love men."
Chon laughed softly. "Men in the East love women too Roy."
"They do? I mean, of course they do." Roy kicked the ground nervously. When he looked at Chon the passion burning in his eyes was impossible to contain. "I wanted what happened between us to happen a year ago."
Chon listened to his friend's voice content to remain silent.
"At the time I thought wow, I'm attracted to this guy and then oh fuck I'm attracted to this guy." Roy walked into Chon's personal space. "I never felt that way before and it scared me." He shrugged his shoulders. "I know this sounds like a romance novel Chon and that is so clichˇ I hope you aren't offended, but I can't help myself."
"I am not offended." Chon reached for Roy and wrapped his arms around him tight. "I also do not mean to offend when I say you belong to me."
Roy sighed into Chon's dark hair. "I know that. I'm sorry I got so touchy." He turned to look at Chon. "I do kind of belong to you I guess."
"And I belong to you too." He found Roy's mouth in the dark and kissed him deeply.
"Well, now that we have that settled..." Roy opened his mouth to Chon and kissed him again. Chon's strong fingers found the buttons on his shirt and got right to work, popping them in turn and starting to undo his pants, wrapping Roy up in a wild sexual frenzy. Why the fuck did he even bother to get dressed again? Thank god he stopped before he got to the boots. "Chon..." His body was numb with want, his chilled skin warming quickly. Chon's hands were quick and sure, lowering his back to the ground, kissing him senseless, spreading his legs and lying ready in the open berth between them.
"What do you want Roy?" Chon asked breathy and knowing.
"You Chon...only you." Roy kissed his lover slowly, raising his tongue over every inch of Chon's mouth. The heat of the other man was addictive. He watched Chon break away and remove his clothing. Well-muscled arms hung free, magnificent and tan, the most amazing body he'd ever seen. When Chon looked at him and smiled with eyes full of love and desire Roy knew exactly how the evening would end. He swallowed hard when he stared at Chon's cock. Strange that he had never really taken notice of it before. It was thick and hard with veins rising up the sides in a prominent manner and dark waves of hair surrounding the base. It made Roy's mouth water.
"And you will have me..." Chon lay atop Roy and pushed hard against the smaller man's body drilling his cock steadily into Roy's belly button until he moaned. He watched Roy's stomach ripple, the alabaster skin glowing brightly in the moonlight, watched Roy's hair flop boyishly across his forehead. "Lovely, " he whispered against the pale throat, "Just lovely." He moved his hand between Roy's legs and began to massage his quickly swelling cock that felt like velvet on his fingers.
"Ah fuck Chon." Roy shoved his body upward, and Chon replied in sure quick strokes, holding him firm yet gentle, and getting him crazier by the minute. He gasped when Chon nipped at his neck, biting him quickly and marking him forever. His body shook restlessly, wanting more from Chon, wanting to experience everything at once. When his lover squeezed his nipple Roy knew he was gone. Chon could do whatever the fuck he wanted to do Roy didn't care, as long at the touching and taking went on forever. He opened his mouth and Chon found it, ravished it roughly and sucked Roy's tongue with a passion that made him weak. Determined fingers rubbed and pressed into Roy's ribcage outlining his body and memorizing every angle. He was delirious and lost and it was so fucking wonderful. Roy bit his lip and trembled wildly grabbing Chon's head and refusing to let go, waiting and hoping for just one more kiss.
Chon pressed in Roy's hardened nipple and kissed him again keeping in time with the soft tugs and pulls of his cock. He could feel Roy's breath hitch, knew he was close to spilling his seed, and he squeezed the base firmly to keep Roy in check, to keep him right on the edge between passion and haze, unable to free himself from the ache in his loins. Roy's teeth chattered, so lovely Chon thought, so innocent and willing and trusting of me. He rubbed up the length and nearly brought him to completion.
"God..."
Roy moaned into the night. Oh god, could anything feel better than this? His body tingled from head to toe. He squeezed Chon's arms digging his fingertips into his flesh and tossing his pelvis forward, pushing with all his strength into Chon's determined grasp. He was weary and excited and aroused beyond belief. When Chon pinched the tip of his cock his stomach clenched and his muscles tightened. Bright colors flashed before his eyes and Roy's orgasm hit with the force of a stampede.
Chon pulled away with a groan and tugged Roy's long legs onto his thighs. He looked down into the face of his lover and sighed. Roy's eyes were lidded and sexy, his cheeks flushed pink with need. "I have never seen anyone like you."
Roy blushed but did not look away. Chon's words cut through all his barriers. He wanted to shout and scream and tell Chon that he loved him more than he'd ever loved anyone in his entire life. Chon made him feel special...made his soul come alive and gave him the impetus to survive every struggle, every break with sanity he would ever have to endure and be a better person at the end of the day simply because he was still warm and breathing. He didn't have to prove anything to Chon...he was himself from the very beginning of their relationship. You are my savior more than you know he thought wildly as Chon pushed one long finger steadily inside him...without you I cannot survive.
"Ahhh..." Roy bit his lip at the intrusion of a second finger and waited out the slim wave of pain. It had been a very long time since he'd been invaded this way and his ass was already starting to remember how very little Roy enjoyed those past encounters. The fingers inside him spread apart and he gasped aloud at the bitter ache growing in his gut. Fuck, his thoughts spiraled miserably, this is different, this is Chon and Chon wants me and Chon loves me and Chon won't hurt me...A third searching finger sent him reeling.
"Damn!" Roy swore under his breath and sealed his eyes. His slender hands wove into the grass winding the hard blades between his fingers, helping him breathe and steadying him for the ride to come. When he opened his eyes Chon's concerned face didn't soothe him.
"Sorry...oh god..." he slammed his body against Chon's hand, willing the fingers into him further, asking him silently to search out the glorious spot in his body guaranteed to help him forget that having sex with someone for the first time while hopefully unforgettable was nonetheless anything but a piece of cake.
"You must relax." Chon continued to stroke him, touching the heat within Roy, watching his lover's fists clench and feeling his body tighten.
"I am relaxed Chon." Roy fibbed.
"You call this relaxed?" Chon bent forward and kissed Roy's swollen lips. "I will try my best not to hurt you."
Roy trembled. "I really don't want to be hurt Chon." He fought back a moan. This was Chon, not Harmon, and Chon loved him. It was just so fucking hard to forget being in this same position years ago, his body bent, beaten and stuffed full of Harmon's erect cock. He'd hated every touch designed to bring him pain, despised every hard rutting thrust stretching him wide until he thought he'd burst in half. He'd fought at first, pounded his fists into Harmon's huge chest and bit his lips so hard they bled back into Roy's mouth. Later, when he realized just how useless it was to fight and how very much his abuser enjoyed his feeble attempts at defense it became easier just to lie there and let him have his way. He turned to Chon, felt the thick fingers still keeping him open and made a decision. "Chon..."
Chon started to remove his fingers and paused. "I will wait for however long you need me too."
"But I don't want to wait Chon...I want you now." Roy grabbed at Chon's hand. "Do it okay? Put them back inside me."
"Roy..." Chon was confused. If he lay with Roy now, when so many demons were joining them, he risked destroying everything they'd worked so hard to build. He risked loosing Roy forever.
"Chon." Roy stared at him earnestly. "I'm not crazy. I need you to take away the pain of my past, to replace all the bad memories and give me new ones. I won't ever forget that hell he put me through but I know you'll make it better...you'll make me better."
Chon nodded. Roy's words made perfect sense. More than anything he wanted Roy to be happy. "It has been a while, for you?" Chon's voice was deep and throaty, his desire evident with each word spoken. He stroked his hand along Roy's cock gathering the moisture. The blonde trembled wildly beneath him his hard nipples flushed rose pink.
Roy stammered. "Yeah Chon. A bit." He shuddered when Chon squeezed his cock. "Since Harmon."
"Do not be afraid of me." Chon slicked up his member and aimed towards Roy's puckered opening.
"But I am afraid Chon...what if I don't please you and you don't want me anymore and..."
Chon's smile was gentle. "That would be impossible." He kissed Roy again and sat back laying one hand on Roy's pale, damp stomach. He caressed the soft blonde locks of hair tossed wildly about Roy's face until the younger man closed his eyes. Chon was amazed by the passion hidden deep inside Roy, a hunger so intense it ignited at the slightest touch in ripples across his trembling skin. He circled his finger across one taut nipple and smiled at Roy's moaned consent. "All right, all right." He said a silent prayer and took a long deep breath before he slicked up his cock with Roy's cum and entered his lover.
"Oh god..." Roy opened his eyes on the first push inside his body. It hurt like hell but it was good too because it was Chon. Roy whimpered and arched his back wanting his fill of Chon despite the ache. He kept his fists clenched and allowed his body to feel the pleasure of being taken by another man, a pleasure he wasn't sure even existed. He tried to remember if it was ever good with Harmon, if he'd ever felt anything but dirty after sex with his only other male partner but the past wasn't nearly that kind. He kept his eyes glued to Chon's, kept his friend in sight to rage against his inner turmoil.
"Ahhh..."
Roy arched up again and Chon's patient hand settled him back against the earth. He felt another push, then a pause, Chon waiting for him to catch his breath, allowing Roy time to adjust to the changes in his body. He felt Chon's hands on his thighs pulling him further apart giving himself room to screw Roy completely. Well that was the point right? No use putting half of your cock inside...no fun there. His lover's cock moved restlessly but determined, Roy could feel the pressure starting to build, and he groaned when a precious couple of inches found their way within him, a deep thrust that hurt so very bad Roy wanted to scream.
Chon willed himself to go slow, to give Roy time to feel the joy in what he was doing. He pushed gently, filling, sheathing his cock deep inside Roy's warmth, searching out the special nerve, and rubbing his member against it until Roy's breathy moans filled his ears in delightful symphony. He watched confusion settle on his lover's face, then enchantment, and when Roy reached out for him Chon nearly sobbed. He pressed on until his entire member was buried inside of Roy, the outline a soft bulge within Roy's flat belly and he lay fully atop his lover, between his outstretched legs until Chon could reach Roy's mouth for the slickest of kisses and grasp his hands in the damp sweaty blonde curls on Roy's head. He thrust from within, watching emotions play across his lover's expressive face, Roy's passion laid bare, his arousal hard and wanting under Chon's stomach.
"You are so lovely," Chon voice was staggered, the tightness of Roy's body nearly driving him insane.
Roy managed a weak smile. Leave it to Chon to be able to form a coherent sentence during the heights of sexual intimacy. He wrapped his legs around his lover, bringing him deeper, the earlier pain no longer as vivid but more ghostly, his fears washing away with each thunderous shove of Chon's cock deep inside, each miraculous glide of hot flesh across that special spot that curled his toes and made him whimper and groan like a whore.
Chon pushed and Roy pushed back, equal partners, lovers, friends. Chon found Roy's mouth again and kissed him drinking his fill of Roy's taste, licking and sucking his full soft mouth. His lover's body was sweaty and eager, the soft skin slippery and damp in Chon's grasp but somehow he managed to wrap his arms underneath Roy's back and bring him forward, closer onto Chon's cock, impaling the light shuddering form as far as he was able and when Roy tossed back his head flopping golden hair in all directions Chon sucked at his pale throat biting him, marking him as Chon's own.
"God... oh..." Roy shuddered hard amazed he could be so close to heaven yet again. He stroked the muscles on Chon's back in tentative caresses, gasping at the solid girth of Chon's throbbing member living and breathing inside him. Chon was so strong, his body so perfect, that sometimes Roy felt out of place standing next to his friend. But this moment was different. In this moment Chon completed him, he winced his disapproval at the romantic sentiment, but there was no one else Roy wanted to share this closeness with but his friend. It seemed weird to even think about it. He and Chon belonged together; they'd shared so much over the past two years and grown closer despite all the obstacles flung by fate in their paths. He didn't want to live without his partner...Roy simply didn't think he'd survive. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and thrust forward into ecstasy.
Chon groaned and settled in deeply, amazed and infatuated once again by the brilliance of his lover. Roy was so unique and so emotional a conundrum in this Western land of outlaws, gunslingers and lawmen, and Chon had noticed the difference as soon as they met. He held Roy's face in his hands and kissed him tenderly; opening his mouth with a skill he didn't know he possessed and sucking Roy's tongue until it melded with his own, until the taste of his lover overpowered him. He pushed harder still determined to fuck Roy completely, to fill every inch of him with Chon's power and love.
Roy gasped and tightened his legs around Chon's waist drawing their bodies impossibly closer, allowing Chon to pierce straight through to his soul. His body was on meltdown but somehow drawing breath didn't matter, as long as Chon's cock infused him to the point of defeat, as long as Chon's hands continued to stroke him and squeeze him and prod him to the highest point of arousal and beyond. He knew he was trembling, and for a moment he was lost, almost alien to his surroundings. But then Chon brushed against his sweet spot and all hell broke loose. Shadows and lights and images cascaded through his brain, blocking all impulse to do anything but lay the fuck still and take it. It was so damn good, so mind numbingly pleasurable, that Roy felt vulnerable in his own body, uncomprehending and on edge, awaiting the slightest urging and thrust of Chon's cock that couldn't possibly go in him any further.
The heat of Chon's passion burned into his gut, and Roy moaned in denial finding the strength for one final arch of his body, impaling himself to the hilt on Chon's cock, feeling it smack straight through him. They were joined as one, glued together in a sweaty heap that Roy never wanted to escape from. If he died right here and now Roy would have no complaints and no doubts at all that he had lived his life to the fullest.
"Roy!"
Chon shouted and thrust, skewering every inch of his lover, demanding the tight heat of his body to open and fit him, acknowledge his passion, his need for Roy, until Chon could think no more and thundered his cock inside the slender body below him, pummeling Roy until the long legs released him with a series of moans, each more desperate than the last and a slick wet heat coated his chest. Roy's orgasm was sweet in its innocence, a rebirth of sorts an outcry of beauty against his wretched past, and he clenched Chon in a vice grip that forced his surrender and he flooded Roy's body, pouring his semen until Chon shuddered and collapsed against his lover's vibrating frame.
They lay still for minutes, remembering to breathe, sated and exhausted but alive and free. Roy ran his fingers through Chon's sweaty hair, the weight of his body a comfort, a blanket against the chill of the evening air. Chon's cock was still in him, spent and damp, filling his emptiness and bringing him home. He felt his lover stir inside him and opened his eyes to Chon's sleepy gaze.
"Are you okay?" Chon was concerned.
"Yes." Roy smiled. "I don't know how the hell I'm going to ride tomorrow but I'm good Chon."
Chon smiled in return and shifted his position to withdraw from his lover silencing Roy's soft moan of protest with a gentle kiss. "Do you want to talk?" He pulled Roy tight against him and covered them up with a large wool blanket.
"Not everything has to be talked to death." Roy snuggled under Chon's arm and yawned. He couldn't remember ever feeling so happy. They could talk in the morning but right now all Roy wanted to do was sleep for a year...hopefully without dreaming.
"You sound tired." Chon kissed Roy again and the soft mouth opened to him still hungry, but perhaps this time not quite as eager.
"I wonder why that is?" Roy's laugh was light and satisfied.
"We should sleep now." Chon touched sweaty gold hair and kissed Roy again before settling against him to slumber. "Goodnight Roy." Roy's body molded against his perfectly, the blonde's lithe figure a steady presence in his life and Chon felt his heart grow fuller just looking at him.
"Goodnight Chon...Chon?" Roy's eyes found Chon's in the dark. "Thank you." He squeezed Chon's hand.
"You're welcome Pawdner."
They kissed again, soft and steady and met the dawn still wrapped up in each other's arms.
Go on to part 2...
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